Ungamqinisekisa njani umntu ukuba uyiphutha?

Kukho imeko apho abantu esinxibelelana nabo kunye nabathandekayo kuthi besenza kakubi, kodwa abafuni ukuvuma iimpazamo zabo kwaye baqale ukuza nezizathu eziyinkulungwane zokuphikisa. Ngaloo mzekelo sifanele siziphathe njani kwaye zeziphi iindlela zokukholisa ezisetyenziselwa ukuzisa umntu ongeyiphutha kwaye akufanele enze njalo ngekamva ngale ndlela?


Ungakhathazeki

Xa umntu ezama ukuzithethelela, kodwa entliziyweni uyaqonda ukuba uphosakele, kodwa uyaziqinisekisa kwaye wenza konke ukukwenza. Umsebenzi walo kukuphonsa ukungathandabuzeki kwengqondo yakho. Ngoko ke, okokuqala, akufanele uvumele ukuba ucinge ngeengxabano zalo, ngaphandle koko, ngakumbi xa umchasi ekwazi ukuthetha ngokuchanekileyo, nguwe oya kubonakala engalunganga. Ngoko ke, ngethuba lencoko, musa ukuvumela umntu ukuba azigwebe. Kufuneka uvele uchaze iingcamango zakho ngokugxininisa ukuba kukuxhobisa okulungileyo, nokuba wenza oko kukuzilungisa kwaye emva koko, emva kokuhamba, uhlala phantsi. Khumbula ukuba abantu abanjalo abazange baqonde iimpazamo zabo ngokukhawuleza, ngoko kufuneka nimnike ixesha lokucinga ngamagama akho. Kodwa incoko kufuneka igqitywe ukuze aqonde: awunamkeli izizathu zakhe kwaye uya kumela ngokwakho ukugqibela.

Ukwabelana ngoluntu

Kuba abantu abanjalo kubaluleke kakhulu uluvo lwabahlobo kunye nabaziwayo, nokuba kunjalo, isivumelwano sabo nezenzo zakhe. Ngoko ke, ukuba unabo bahlobo abaqhelekileyo abavumelana nawe, kungekhona naye, qiniseka ukuthetha naye konke ndawonye. Xa uluvo lubonakaliswa nguwe kuphela, uyaziqinisekisa ukuba uyaphakamisa okanye ukhangele le meko ngombono ongalunganga. Kodwa xa abantu abambalwa beza kuthetha ngako kwaye iimbono zabo ziya kuguquka kunye neyakho, inkani inokucinga ngokuphathelele izenzo zakhe. Into ephambili akuyiyo ukudala imeko apho kuya kufuneka ukuba azithethelele kwaye azivikele. Khumbula ukuba intetho kufuneka iqhube ngendlela enje abantu abaye batyala ngayo nabani kuzo zonke izono zabo, kodwa zama ukubonisa iimpazamo zakhe, kuba bayamthanda baze bafune ukuba abe nolonwabo ngakumbi. Khumbula ukuba ngethuba le ngxoxo umntu unokukhokela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo: yenza sengathi uyavuma, ukugxeka wonke umntu ukuba abe ngabahlobo ababi, nje ukuzithethelela, njengokuba wenza ngaphambili. Kukho nawuphi na, akufanele 'uholele' ekuhlaselweni kwayo kakubi kwaye uhlele ingxabano. Ukuba lo mntu wenza ngokwenene, kufuneka ubekezele ukuziphatha kwakhe. Nangona, xa kunjalo xa yonke into iqala ukuya ngaphaya, ungamxelela ukuba abantu bayamthanda, kodwa ukuba akaqala ukuziphatha njengomntu omdala, umntu owaneleyo, ngoko unxibelelwano luya kumisa.

Igunya

Ngethamsanqa, wonke umntu unamandla. Ietim ingasetyenziswe ngobuchule kwiimeko ezinjalo. Into ephambili kukuba ufanele uqiniseke ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba lo mntu uphethwe ngumntu othandayo. Ngaphambi kokuba ulungiselele incoko nomntu, thetha naye uze uyichazele ukuba yintoni ingxaki kunye noko ufuna ukukwenza. Igunya kufuneka likwazi ukuba yimaphi amacandelo ukuba amcinezele kwaye yiziphi iindlela zokusebenzisa. Ungalokothi ukwesaba ukufuna uncedo kumntu onjalo, nokuba ngumntu ovela kubadala: uyise, umalume. Abantu abaninzi banenkxalabo yokuba ndikwazi ukufihla ezinye iimfihlakalo zomntu kwaye uya kukhubeka. Enyanisweni, ukuba ubona ukuba izenzo zakhe zibangela abanye inkathazo kunye naye, kufuneka uyenze. Ewe, ekuqaleni unokuba nomsindo kuwe. Kodwa ekuhambeni kwexesha kuya kucaca kuye ukuba lo ngumsebenzi wamalungu omdlalo womdlali othembekileyo, mhlawumbi uya kukubulela. Ngoko ke, ngokubhekiselele ku kavtoriteu musa ukufihla into, ukuze aqonde ukuba yintoni ingxaki. Ukuba ukhona kwingxoxo enjalo, kulungile ukuthetha nto kwaye uphulaphule. Inyani kukuba xa umntu ethetha nomntu aphulaphulayo, nayiphi na enye imbonakalo yeengcamango ezivela kwabanye abantu ibonakala nje njengokunciphisa umntu ogunyazisiweyo kuye. Ngoko unike iimbongolo esandleni, obathandayo umlingani kwaye ubanike ithuba lokuxazulula ingxaki kunye.

Intukuthelo

Ukuba sele sele uzame zonke iindlela kunye neendlela, kodwa umntu akenzi nto, ngoko unokukhubekisa kuye. Ngokuqinisekileyo, olu khetho luyingozi kakhulu, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha kufuneka usebenzise le ndlela yempembelelo kumntu. Enyanisweni, kusebenza kuphela ukuba uyintanda kuye kwaye akafuni ukulahlekelwa nguwe. Ukuba imeko iyaqhubeka ngale ndlela, ngoko unokuyicinezela kwiimvakalelo zakhe. Musa nje ukwenza i scandal, memeze kuye uze ukhale. Ngokuphambene noko, kuyimfuneko ukuthetha ngokukhawuleza nangokukhupha. Kumele umchazele ukuba akaqondi amagama akho kwaye akafuni ukuphulaphula kubo bonke. Ngaloo ndlela, awunamdla kwaye awwamkelekanga ekuziphatheni kwakhe kwezinye iimeko. U-Vypoprostu udanike kakhulu kuye kwaye akwazi ukuthetha naye ngakumbi, ukuba akafuni ukulungisa nantoni na. Kwaye ekubeni awunalo ilungelo lokumxelela indlela yokuphila kunye nezigqibo ezithathayo, kodwa ngelo xesha ungeke ukwazi ukumelana nekhosi yangoku yeziganeko, ngoko ungcono ukuthetha ngexeshana, mhlawumbi ngendlela engunaphakade. Ngokuqinisekileyo, le ndlela ibukeka iyinkohlakalo kwaye ungasebenzisa iindlela ezifanayo kuphela xa ubona ukuba umntu wenza iimpazamo ezinzulu, apho kufuneka asindiswe nayiphi na indlela, mhlawumbi bonke baya kubandezeleka. Kule meko, kufuneka uqiniseke ngokupheleleyo into oyithethayo, ukuze umthandayo angacingi ukuba lo mdlalo. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, uloyiko ludlalwa indima ebaluleke kakhulu. Yenza kube lula ukucinga kwakhona yonke into nokujonga imeko ukusuka kwicala lasekunene. Umntu uqalisa ukuqonda ukuba ukuzikhukhumeza, okusoloko kukhokelela umnqweno wokungavumeli iimpazamo, akubalulekanga njengomntu osondeleyo onokukulahleka ngoku ngoku. Ukongezelela, ngokubeka umntu kwiimeko ezifanayo zeemeko, unokufumana impembelelo enkulu kunazo zonke, kuba unempembelelo yengqondo enamandla, abantu bayazi ngakumbi iimpazamo zabo. Ukuba kwimeko yewayini unokwenza nje ukuba yonke into iyaqatshelwa, kwaye emva koko iyaqhubeka ngendlela efanayo, ngokoyika ukulahlekelwa ngumhlobo, uzimisele ngokwenene ukuba angenzi ezinye iimpazamo ezinjalo. Kodwa kusenakunqweneleka ukuba usebenzise indlela enjalo, kuba abantu bamele baqonde iimpazamo zabo ngokuzimeleyo, kwaye bangazithatha phantsi kwengcinezelo yokwesaba. Kanye kwimeko yokungeniswa ngokuzikhethela, ithuba lokuba umntu akayi kuthatha iimpazamo zabo kwixesha elizayo kuncitshiswa kakhulu. Ngokwesaba, uyazi ingxaki yakhe yangoku, kodwa kwixesha elizayo yonke into inokwenzeka kwakhona.