Ngamanye amaxesha, emva kokuhlukana kunye nokufumana amaqabane amasha, aphinde aphinde ahlangane. Kwaye ngokutshata ngokubalwa, ngokukhawuleza qalisa ukuvavanya omnye nomnye inzondelelo enamhlanje. Nantoni na eyenzekayo. Yaye uthando ngalinye ibali linamacandelo kunye neepateni. Oko kufuneka uyenze ukukholisa loo nto yintloko yesihloko.
Ukukhethwa kweprayimari 50 i-millisecond
Sisoloko sibheka abantu abajikelezileyo, naphi na apho sikhona, kodwa nakwezinye iindlela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngezinye izinto ezingaqhelekanga, abanye abakwazi ukwahlula kwisihlwele esiqhelekileyo, okwesithathu sibheka amehlo ethu. Ukuze ube ngowesibini ukwahlula, kodwa ukulibaziseka, kwaye lo mzuzwana ukwanele ukwenza ukhetho kule nto okanye kuloo ndoda. Ukukhethwa kweprayimari rhoqo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kukho iqabane ngexesha okanye cha. Kwisijikelezo samadoda abakhethwe ngeli nqanaba ngabo abo bahambelane okanye ubuncinane basondela kwiipateni ezigcinwe kwimemori yethu ukususela ebuntwaneni. Enyanisweni, ngobuninzi babantu abavela kweli qela, asinakuqhelana nabo, nje ingqondo ithumela izibonakaliso: "Nantsi umntu ofanelekileyo." Kungaba njalo ... "Ukuba kunxibelelwano olude ixesha elide (ubuncinane kwiminzana embalwa) lwenzeka, i-pheromones ivuliwe izinto ezidakisayo ezithumela ulwazi lwezinto eziphilayo. Bazisa umlingani onokuzikhethela ngenjongo yakho, nangona unonophelo kwaye unobtrusively. Awuyi kubona nayiphi na into, uze uyibize ukunyaniseka okanye uthando ekuqaleni.
Umtsalane ukusuka kwiintsuku ezimbini ukuya kwiinyanga ezi-2
Isigaba sesibini asihlali ixesha elide-ukususela kwi-5 ukuya ku-30 oqhagamshelwano ngqo. Sinokuthi sitsho ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba simthanda umntu, nangona asiyiloko siqonde ukuba kutheni. "Ndifuna ukuba naye kaninzi, kuba uyamangalisa kakhulu." Enyanisweni, ngeli xesha ukuba sifunde ngokucophelela ubuntu bomlingane onokuthi, qaphela, okokuqala, nokuba unempawu ezahlukileyo, okwesibini, efanelekileyo, kwaye yesithathu, nokuba ibonisa inzala yokubuyisela. Nangona kunjalo, ukusuka kwinqanaba leembono ze-biology ukuthanda kwethu ukuba nenani kuchazwa ezinye iinjongo. Okokuqala, sifuna ukufana nathi, abafana abalungileyo. Ukuzibonakalisa ngokomzimba, ukufaniswa komfanekiso, ukubonakala komntu njengowokuzalwa kubonakala kubaluleke kakhulu kwimvelaphi yokukhanga. Oku kuqinisekiswa ngophando lwezesayensi. Ngokomzekelo, iingcali ezivela kwiYunivesithi yaseVenezuela zathatha izibini ezingama-36 ezikhethiweyo ezikhethiweyo (kunye namava kunye nabasandul 'ukutshata), ke unqamle isithombeni ngasinye kwiindawo ezi-2, uxube ihafu kwaye wumema amavolontiya angaphandle avuma ukuthatha inxaxheba ekuhlolweni, "ukuhlanganisa" intsapho. Kuye kwavela ukuba izifundo zifumene ngokuphindwe kabini ngokuphindwe kabini nje ukuba zifake isahluko semifanekiso nje ngethuba. Okwesibini, sibheke ukungqinelana okukhulu. Siyacwina: abafazi bayakhetha amadoda aphunga awo ahlukeneyo kunye nawoovumba looyise, kodwa ngabantu abangevumba njengomama wabo. Emva koko, sihlola umlingane onokuthi asebenzisane naye - iipropati zezinto eziphilayo ezibaluleke kakhulu ezenza ukuba ngamnye umntu wethu (iibinzana zethu zikwazi ukwenza oku!). Iinzululwazi zaseBrazil ziye zatshengisa ukuba izivumelwano ezinobumnandi nangaphezulu zibunjwa ngabantu abaneengxaki ezahlukileyo ekuhambeni kwayo. Ukungabikho, ngoko ke, ukuxhamla kwegazi, ukunyamekela impilo yentsapho ezayo (ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga ngayo imvelo, uthando lufunwa kuphela), sicinga ngokhuseleko lwayo. Iyakwazi ukubonelela iimpawu zobunzima ezifana nokunyamezela nokuxhatshazwa ngokuthe ngqo (kubafazi-ububele kunye nobubele). Ukuba konke oku kufumaneka kumntu, isigaba sesithathu siza, sikhanyiso.
Uthando olunxilisayo olungaphantsi kweminyaka eli-1 ubudala
Eli nqanaba liyabonakala kakhulu ngaphandle, kuba ukuziphatha komntu kutshintsha ngaphaya kokuqaphela. Isiqalo "esibalulekileyo" sisigxininiso esicacileyo kwisifundo somnqweno, ukungabi nako ukuhlolwa okubalulekileyo. Le meko ihambelana nempembelelo ye-endorphin hormones, i-dopamine, i-adrenaline, i-noradrenaline. Kungenxa yokuba sinobuchule banoma yikuphi na ukuphawula ("egameni lothando"), kuba ngenxa yabo intliziyo yethu ibetha njalo. Ukuthi "akayena isibini kuwe," "umele ukhangele," akunakunceda ukubiza "ukucinga kwakhona". Kunoko, esi sibini siya kuxabana nehlabathi lonke, kunokuba izizathu zengxoxo zivakala. Amandla enzondelelo kuxhomekeka kwiimpawu zesistim se-nervous, ngaphezu koko, kwipini enye, njengomthetho, ithandana ngaphezu komnye. Kodwa inani leemvakalelo lisele ukwaneliseka kwaye ucinge ukuba liya kuhlala ifana nale nto ngoku. Intsholongwane yezinto eziphilayo "yentsholongwane yothando" kukubonelela ngenani eliphezulu leendlela zesini kwindoda yomntu, ukuze ukukhulelwa kuqiniseke, kunye nokunyaniseka kwowesifazane, ukwenzela ukuba iqabane liqiniseke ngoonyana bakhe. Emva kokuqhaqhazela komnqweno, kancinci okanye ngokukhawuleza iyancipha.
Ukuncedisa iminyaka 1-2
Eli nqanaba aliqalanga nhlobo. Abaninzi nje abakwazi ukuzidibanisa nelokuba umnqweno udlulile, kwaye ugqibe ubudlelwane. Yiyiphi ingongoma yokuba kufuphi, ukuba yonke into isele ihlalile kwaye iyakhathaza ngoku? Ukongezelela, ngokukhawuleza kuvela ukuba iqabane linempawu ezininzi ezintle. "Utshintshile ekubeni wayesazi," "Uhluke ngokupheleleyo." Enyanisweni, siye sahlala njalo. Yonke into engayithandiyo ngoku, ayicasulayo, ibonakala ingenakubekezeleka, yabonwa ngaphambili. Okokuqala: "Uyazigubungela intloko emva kokuhlamba, njengenqana", aze athi: "Dumani, emva kwakho zonke iindonga zimanzi, ngaba unakho uqaphele?" Izibambiso zentsebenziswano zibonakala ziyi-quibbles ezingenangqiqo, ukuhlambalazana ngokubambisana kuya kuba yimpikiswano kunye neengxabano. Uninzi, ngokuqonda okanye cha, buyela kwisigaba sokuqala - ukhetho oluphambili. Kodwa abo bahlala behlangene, balindele ukutshatyalaliswa okukhulu. Kanye nje ngexesha apho, kubonakala ngathi, uvuyo lwangaphambili loba unxibelelwano alusekho (sisoloko sihlanganisene ukuba siyeke ukuphendula kwimveliso yehomoni ye-hormone). I-Oxytocin kunye ne-vasopressin - i-hormone, ngaphantsi kwefuthe apho iqondo lokuthembela, ukufudumala kunye nothando lwakhiwa - luphuhliswa ngexesha lezenzo kunye kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Xa wenza okungakumbi into, kunye nje ulala eceleni kwakho kwaye ufunde iincwadi ezahlukeneyo okanye usule uthuli, uxelelane ngomhla odlulileyo, amahomoni amaninzi ekhonkco aphuhliswa. Ubundlobongela kweli nqanaba luba luhlelekile kwaye lulungelelanise, kodwa lubangela uvakalelo "lolwalamano olukhethekileyo." Ngendlela, kubasetyhini, i-hormone oxytocin iveliswa ngexesha le-orgasm, ngoko kudla ukuba kwenzeka ukuba uthando lwabesetyhini lukhula ngakumbi ngaphezu kwexesha.
Inyaniso yokwenene yobomi
Icandelo elilandelayo liza ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Omnye wenze oku kwenzeka ngexa elinye: "Saye sabamba izandla, ndaqonda ukuba le ndoda ibaluleke ngaphezu kwam kwaye ayisayi kuphinda iphinde ibuye." Omnye udinga ixesha: "Siphila iminyaka engama-50 singakhange sicinge ngeemvakalelo, kodwa ngoku ndiyakwazi ukuba kwakumnandi." Ixesha "uthando olungunaphakade" lunokuhlala luhleli ngonaphakade, nangona kungenakuboniswa ngendalo, ukususela kwinqanaba lokujonga ukuba i-monogamy ayiyinto evamile, kodwa iphulaphulo. Emva kokuzala waza wakhulela kwisigaba sokuqala somntwana, asisayi kuphinda sibe kunye. Indoda inokucinga ngokunyusa inani leenzala ngaphezulu, kwaye umfazi unako ukuzisa abantwana abadala ukuba bakhule ngokwabo kunye naye. Mhlawumbi, kuba eli nqanaba alisoloko lidlula kalula. Ukugcina ingqondo, kufuneka senze imizamo. Sisebenziseka njalo ukuba ama-hormone othando aveliswe ngobuncinane kakhulu. Ukusabela kwentshiseko kumlingani osisigxina akupheli. Kodwa isimo sethu sengqondo silawulwa ngu-serotonin, esinika ukuvakalelwa kobomi noxolo. Ngexesha ngalinye (iminyaka emine, iminyaka-7 okanye nje ngeengxaki ezivela ebomini), kukho iingxaki kwiintsebenziswano. Oku akuthethi ukuba intsapho iya kubonakaliswa kakhulu. Emva kokusinda kwintlekele, abantu bafumana iinjongo ezintsha kunye neminye embalwa kwiminyaka bayonwabile. Amandla othando nothando akayi kuba yinto efanayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho umda phakathi kweemvakalelo ezimbini: xa umntu ephakamileyo yentsizana, enye inokwehla. Emva koko yonke into iyashintsha. Ngoko intsapho-into eyodwa-ikhuselekile ekukhutshweni. Yaye iqhubeka iminyaka emininzi.